#WeekendCoffeeShare – School shopping.

ifwewerehavingcoffee33

If we were having coffee, I’d mostly be talking about the fact I’ve been trying to get uniform for my little one for school this week. She has a few weeks of holiday left though, they don’t go back until September in the UK (They finished school at the end of July).
It’s especially stressful to get shoes because she has very specific requirements for shoes, due to the fact she needs to wear special insoles. I think we have finally found the right ones but I had to send the ones we had back because they were too big, and she needed a size smaller.

As well as stressing me out, school shopping has also been kind of sad this year, as she’s about to enter her last year in primary school before she goes to high school this time next year. She still seems too little to go, she is only 10. I think it just reaffirms that my little girl is growing up, more so than anything else. I’m never excited for her to go back to school anyway, I love it when she’s off school, we have so much fun together but I’m just finding it all so completely stressful and sad this year. I’m really dreading next year, but I’m hoping it’s just one of those things that I’m worrying about incessantly that will probably end up being fine. Anxiety is so great isn’t it?!

My little one (I should really think up a name to use for her on my blog!) is not in a rush to grow up like some of the kids her age (Thankfully! l’ve seen some of them wear make up! No, just no), at the same time though she’s also a little sad herself because she doesn’t want to grow up. I remember that all too well, and remember not being ready for these big changes everyone was talking about. I ended up being glad to get to high school though, as the beginning of high school was really great and they actually taught actual subjects. I was completely bored at primary school, because I found it too easy. It wasn’t even because I was super intelligent or a genius or anything, because I’m totally not, and when I got to high school I was really very behind compared to the other kids in my class, (I found it fun though to cram and catch up with the rest of the smart kids) I guess my primary school was just not very good at teaching actual subjects.

finishedshopping

I tell my little one that high school will be better, and they will teach cool science and English literature (Which she loves at the moment) and it seems to make her feel a little better, but I know what she really means, aside from the fact I know she’s a bit worried about making friends because she does struggle to understand some of the “kid nonsense” that goes on in school (The normal crap that kids do, “You’re my bestest friend”, ten minutes later, “I don’t want to be your friend anymore”), it’s also the fact that time is passing, and she’s growing up whether she likes it or not. I tell her that I haven’t really grown up yet, I only adult when I have to, like when I need to go pay a bill, or go to the bank, or fill forms out, or talk at a conference because some adult things are required of all of us, but the rest of the time, I don’t feel like an adult. I get down on the floor and play with my little one like we are the same age, not because that’s what cool mums do, because that’s what is fun for me.

It’s the same with gaming and so forth, and being overly excited about things without fear of what people think, but that’s just being a nerd for you. Seriously, you should see my face if a new science paper comes out that interests me, or watching the E3 livestream and seeing Mass Effect Andromeda…

I really feel for my little one and I totally identify with her too and for me, well, it does pain me just a little bit that my little girl is growing up. I think it’s to do with the fact I have been able to shield her from most of the world’s ill’s thus far and soon, she will have knowledge, thoughts, and will experience what this world is like for herself, and that scares me. The fact I also have to inform her of the world’s dangers often makes me feel guilty, and I often put “I’m sorry”, at the end of those sentences.

Also, I worry about the fact my daughter might start wanting to fit in, because everyone does, and stop being who she is to please everyone else. I just hope she stays true to who she is, because it’s so amazing to see her get excited about what she loves, I don’t want that to be ruined by kids who won’t talk to you if you’re wearing the wrong thing, or like she experienced recently, them picking on her because of the shoes she wears. Seriously, her shoes looked cool, but she had to wear podiatrist approved shoes so they were boy styled because that’s all I could get and you know what? Those shoes meant she was in less pain but she experienced emotional pain for being picked on for it. Why don’t people teach their kids to be thoughtful of other people? People say, “Well, that’s kids for you”, or “That’s normal though Rhio, you’re being unrealistic”, and I seriously want to tell them to shut up, I’m being unrealistic to expect kids to be nice to each other? Well, that says everything you need to know about the human race doesn’t it? How depressing.

I just want my daughter to be her forever and without fear, because I know, being true to yourself and who you are is one of the easiest ways to make yourself happy. For some odd reason, being true to being you also sometimes ends up causing you actual grief because of other people and their judgements or prejudices. Humans… you should want your other human brothers and sisters to be happy, so please let them be happy.

[If you would like to take part in the #weekendcoffeeshare, then head to Part Time Monsters blog to take part!]

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Categories: Little One Comics, Weekend Coffee Share

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16 replies

  1. I do not have any children myself yet, but I remember my time at school. I’ve never been very social and dreaded having to go to high school where only one of my primary school classmates would also be going. It sounds like you’re having a great time with your daughter, though, and I think it’s great that you’re encouraging her to be herself. I wish my own mum had been like that and not forced me to conform, throwing me in to social situations I despised.

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    • I think, suffering mental problems myself, I know how utterly exhausting socialising and stuff is when you’re more of an introvert or socially anxious. For instance, the other day she went to a theme park with a bunch of kids and had a great time, but she needs a few days of quiet afterwards to recharge her social batteries. There’s a lot of parents at the school who have their kids in all sorts of clubs nearly everyday of the week, I just know that’s not right for my little one, but have felt a lot of pressure from other mums to make her go to clubs she probably wouldn’t enjoy anyway!
      Thanks so much for the comment 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • It’s great you take that approach. I was forced onto 5 team sports a week to socialise and lose weight and I ended up hating sports and not losing a single pound no matter how hard I trained.

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  2. Love your post! Do worry. I feel your anxiety. My “little one” is entering her final year of High School (the last year before college here in the U.S.) and she is just like your daughter. She was uninterested in the drama at school and moved at her own pace as far as boys and make-up were concerned. Here the kids use the term “nerd” to label anyone brave enough to be themselves and that’s what we talked about- how the nerds are the kids who are true to themselves and not just trying to fit in by being what others expectthem to be. Tell you little one to stay true to herself and she will find a great group of like minded friend just like my daughter did. Her friend are the best and they support each other’s uniqueness!

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  3. Sounds like you’ve got a lot going on. I know what you mean about feeling anxious about school and such, though in a bit of a different way. Schools here in the U.S. are so differently structured, and my kiddo is younger—-he’s just starting 1st grade, so he’s experiencing so many new things. He’s sensitive, much like me, and he’s also very small for his age, so I worry about him a lot. But I think that’s normal, yeah?

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    • My little one was also small for her age, she was the smallest in her class when she started primary school (age 4) and she’s still very sensitive. The height thing wasn’t an issue so much, in fact, it seemed to help her in terms of the other older kids in the school, they liked to look after her and she did seem to appreciate the company of the older children. She’s more than caught up height wise since starting school, she’s gone from off the bottom of the graph to the normal line on the graph (That percentile graph thing).
      The sensitivity thing has been the biggest issue, she was called things like a drama queen (By adults!) because she was emotional, it wasn’t that, she just gets overwhelmed, especially by loud noises and such. School has helped with that a lot, and also she’s attended things like mindfulness sessions which probably helped the most. She’s a different kid to when she started school and it’s so great to see because she’s a lot more outgoing, despite the fact she still suffers with panic attacks and stuff.
      I was worried too, so much so, I even considered home schooling, but I have been amazed by her transformation and truly believe school has been good for her 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yeah,I think school has been really good for Little Jedi, too. He is an only child, and we don’t have many friends who have children, so he’s been around adults a lot. The diversity of his classmates and school friends, alongwith the experiences he gets there are amazing. He is in a language immersion program, so he’s learning in Spanish and is bilingual, which my husband and I couldn’t have taught him. And they have classes and special events on all kinds of things that he enjoys. He has friends, and he’s a really fast runner, which impresses the other kids. But I do worry.

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      • Aww little Jedi sounds just like my little one… She’s an only child, we don’t have much family around, none of them have kids my little ones age anyway.
        Also, she goes to a Welsh school, and learns everything there in Welsh so is also bilingual. I don’t speak Welsh myself but some of my family did in the far distant past so it’s cool she has that opportunity!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Yeah, I don’t speak much Spanish at all, so he knows much more than I do about it. I’m glad though—the world is a bigger oyster when you can speak more than one language.

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  4. I seldom feel like an adult. I told Mom the other day that I still don’t feel like I’d be old enough to have kids because I’m just a big kid myself. But I’m with you, people in general should just be nice to each other.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I really enjoyed your post Rhio 🙂

    Reading this made me think of an XKCD comic where the character is about to sign a lease on a flat and says something like “you’re trusting me with a BUILDING. I don’t feel like enough of an adult for this, it’s weird that we’re sitting here pretending that I am,”
    The other guy says something like “does any of this affect the terms of your lease?”
    The first guy replies, “sorry, say that again? I was thinking about Batman.”

    Something like that, anyway. I’m 30 years with a mortgage (and a fiancee!) and sometimes I have to say “okay, pay the bills, adult stuff”. It’s so weird isn’t it!

    Teaching your daughter to be proud of who she is is one of parenting’s greatest accomplishments. You’ll do it just fine.

    Liked by 1 person

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