I’ve been trying to write this post for over a week. It’s been difficult. I have a good news, bad news situation.
Good news:- My daughter is a lot better and not coughing anymore. YAY.
Bad news:- It took a lot of stress getting her better. Including a nurse that gave me attitude and made judgements based on face value rather than actual medical science. Yes, because it’s still the 1950’s apparently. She assumed my daughters illness was completely fabricated out of her feelings about school. It ended with my mum taking my daughter to the hospital just so someone would listen and prescribe the antibiotics she needed to get better. She had very swollen tonsils and a nasty throat infection, had the nurse we saw primarily bothered to even look inside her mouth, she would have known that. My daughter got a lot better after 2-3 days of taking them, and now she’s back to her usual self.
Good news:- The home treatment team always make me feel a lot better about the medical profession. They obviously care a lot about their jobs, and I’ve never had a bad experience with a mental health nurse.
Bad news:- The fact I have home treatment team involved at all because of my current mental state. I’ve been struggling for a while with stress, and after my daughters hospital visit, the stress got insurmountable and I had a bit of a breakdown thing, and realised I needed help. I’ve been struggling a lot with anxiety and feeling like I’m living in a dream, that nothing is real, and I’ve just been going through the motions. It’s like I’m moving all the chess pieces the right way, but that I’m not actually playing the game. I’m not feeling it. That’s why blogging has been difficult. I usually enjoy blogging so much, but right now I’m writing all the words, but nothing is happening. I don’t feel it.
Good news:- As I’ve been feeling rubbish, I’ve been really trying to make myself better. I’ve been doing arts and crafts offline. I really like the eye I sketched it only took about 15 minutes:-
Bad news:- I’ve been struggling with the illness my daughter had and have sinusitis, so doing any art on the computer has been impossible due to sinus headaches which are way more painful for me than migraines. This sucks because I have quite a few ideas for comics.
Good news:- It’s my little ones last day in school today before the Easter break.
Bad news:- I usually look forward to her having time off school, but as I’m not very well I’m incredibly worried about it. What’s keeping me together right now is the routine of having to get her to school and back everyday, I don’t know what’s going to happen when she’s off school. The thing I’m struggling with the most right now is my anxiety, I’m worst-case-scenario-ing everything automatically. I’m going to have to put plans in place, but it’s hard to plan anything. I’ve been planning to see Star Wars, and every time I’ve planned it, my daughter has been ill.
Good news:- My daughter is so creative and it’s really nice to see her being so involved and passionate again now she’s feeling better. She made this beautiful Easter box for school.
Bad news:- You know you have a creative child when you find yourself hoovering every day because your carpet despite hoovering everyday, looks like it hasn’t been hoovered for months. I’m only part joking about this being bad news, but goodness me that’s a lot of mess.
Good news:- I finished the TV series, Dexter. I thought it was really good but the last season was a bit questionable and led me to have too many unanswered questions. I did enjoy it though overall.
Bad news:- Finishing a TV series always makes me have an existential crisis so I hope The Walking Dead never ends, even though that’s impossible given how the zombies, or sorry, walkers are decaying each season. They can’t be skeleton zombies because they’ll have no brain, and given their current decay rate, soon they’ll just be dust. Also bad news, I found myself identifying with Dexter far too much. It was a bit worrying… [I should probably clarify that I identified with him a lot socially, I haven’t killed anyone]
Good news:- Yay I blogged!
Bad news:- I have 6 drafts of this very post and need to catch up with my reading.
Hopefully be back for the coffee share this weekend. 🙂