If we were having coffee, or, hot chocolate because today is socially acceptable to indulge in way too much chocolate (I had a Twirl for breakfast), I’d begin by telling you, things are actually a bit better than they were the last time I posted.
I think I’ve entered the, “I don’t care” phase of my mental health setback, which is a huge relief, given that I’ve been 24/7 anxious for the past few months. I’d wake up in the morning anxious, I would wake up in the middle of the night despite taking meds that knock me out because I would still be anxious in the depths of sleep. I couldn’t do anything about it, everything I did seemed to make it worse. So because of this, I feel very relieved, and some normality has resumed. I know that I’m not completely out of the woods yet, but I’m definitely moving in the right direction. Hard work does pay off eventually.
My daughter is pretty happy, she’s now off school for Easter break, and on her last day of school, she won first prize for the Easter box she made (I posted a picture of it in my last post). She came out of school all happy and excited and couldn’t wait to tell me that she had won. It was awesome to see her all happy, usually she’s exhausted and has had enough by the time I collect her from school, so she usually looks sad. She practically bounced the whole way home from school. She’s currently playing, “The Lego Movie Video game”, on my Xbox and having a load of fun.
As I’ve not been very well, going out has been difficult. However, on Friday, I managed to do my grocery shopping at ASDA. I was pretty proud of myself afterwards for going out despite my crippling anxiety. I had enough of having no food in the house and having to go to the local shop everyday to get food, so as a spur of the moment thing, decided that I would go out with help from my mum. It’s so nice having full cupboards and a full fridge. I’m hoping to go out next week too as I really need some canvasses so my daughter and I can paint over the Easter break. I also promised her a Lego set for Easter, so that will be fun, I might even treat myself to some Lego.
When I was a kid, I was allergic to chocolate, the smallest amount of chocolate would make me break out in hives, so my mum and dad would buy me and my brother toys instead. I always preferred that even though I was usually mad about the allergy, so I do the same with my daughter. Toys last a lot longer than the chocolate does. Thankfully I grew out of the allergy when I was 15, when I ate a “plain” cake that had chocolate chips in it and nothing bad happened. Although finding out I wasn’t allergic to chocolate anymore was pretty bad for my eating disorder. I had bulimia at the time, so the realisation I could now eat chocolate made me go completely overboard and I was really sick. At least that’s all over now and I can enjoy it.
I really hope you all have a lovely Easter break. I think my daughter and I are just going to chill out for the rest of the day and find some cool movies to watch.
Weekend Coffee Share is hosted by Part Time Monster. Head over to her blog to take part. 😀