#WeekendCoffeeShare – Star Wars Day, and the week that wasn’t.

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Coffee Coffee Coffee

If we were having coffee, or Appletiser that I am drinking right now as I’m trying to cut down my caffeine intake, I’d tell you that the weather has been incredibly warm this week and quite typical for a British summer.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that this week has been full of pain and has therefore been quite difficult. I’ve tried taking my mind off it by making even more friendship bracelets and drawing, but yesterday, I was in too much pain to even do that.

I ended up having a massive panic attack last night while I was cooking, that came out of nowhere, and ended up making me fall to the floor. My daughter came and rescued me, and then without me even asking, just carried on making the dinner while I sorted myself out and tried to calm myself down. I was saying, “Sorry” to my daughter in between hyperventilated breaths because usually I try and hide my mental health issues from her and felt guilty for having a panic attack in front of her, and she said, “It’s okay, really, I know you’re going to be fine soon. Don’t say sorry, everything is okay”. I get upset that she has anxiety herself, but it helps that I could tell her I was having a panic attack, and she knew exactly what that meant, and just reassured me that everything was okay, like I do for her when she has a panic attack.

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The Minecraft Pig bracelet I made for my daughter. I even designed this one myself. Also, even my daughters hands are cute! 

I really don’t know why I had a panic attack, I wasn’t even thinking about anything, I was focused on making dinner. I guess it might have something to do with the pain I still have and the fact I couldn’t do any self care yesterday because I was in too much pain to do that. I ended up spending the day watching Homeland on Netflix, and I’m on season 4, and it’s so gross. How Carrie gets information out of that young kid, made me feel sick. It’s so pathetic too, she’s supposedly a super awesome badass CIA agent, and the only tool she has in her get-information-out-of-people toolbox is sex? Okay then, that makes total sense [Sarcasm alert]. “It worked though didn’t it?”, So?! It’s still gross. Maybe I should have watched something a little less cringeworthy.

The panic attack could even be something as simple as the weather changing. I hate summer, not because I’m just a grumpy cat, but because I really struggle with the temperature. I don’t sleep properly for the entire season, and I have to cover all my skin whenever I go out in the sunshine because of my meds. My meds make me overheat in the mildest of British summer temperatures, and they make my skin super sensitive to the sun so I burn even though I wear factor 50. Don’t even get my started on the night sweats my meds cause in the middle of winter, in the summer, it’s unbearable and my sheets get soaked. Summer is not fun. Summer would be a lot more fun if British houses had air conditioning. Of course, panic attacks can happen for no reason anyway, so it might be pointless me trying to figure out hundreds of theories as to why it happened.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that my mum and my friends really helped cheer me up after the panic attack yesterday, and then I watched the MasterChef UK final, and the person I wanted to win, won! Jane was so awesome, her dishes looked the best by far. That made me happy, and I enjoyed talking to my friend WeeGee about it.

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Star Wars Day Lego and Funko Pop photograph

If we were having coffee I’d tell you that our week wasn’t all bad, good things still happened despite the fact I have been in pain. My daughter and I both really enjoyed Star Wars Day, and I enjoyed drawing myself as Rey, and my little one as BB8. You can check it out here if you are interested in seeing it. I really enjoyed Facebook, Twitter and WordPress on Star Wars Day as my feeds were full of nerdy Star Wars stuff and it made the nerd in me super happy. I also wore my hair like Rey for the day.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that my daughter had her age 11 primary school tests this week, they are basically like SAT’s, and apart from one of them, seemed pretty positive about how she did. I was worried that she would get really stressed about it, given that she has anxiety but I think telling her over and over that they didn’t really matter helped. I kept telling her that they are not tests that are going to follow you around for the rest of your life, that no one has EVER asked me how I did in tests when I was 11. I said it so many times that she believed me and felt a lot better about it and wasn’t even nervous. She obviously still tried her best, and that’s all I ever ask of her.

If we were having coffee I’d tell you that the next friendship bracelets I’m going to make are a panda one, and a butterfly one. I’ve decided I might make a whole bunch of them to send to friends for Christmas or Birthdays or whatever.

So, I think I’ve talked for long enough… How was your week? Thanks for having coffee with me lovelies.

Weekend Coffee Share is a post link up hosted by Diana at Part Time Monster, head over to her blog to take part and read other coffee shares. 

 

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Categories: Weekend Coffee Share

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27 replies

  1. Sorry your week was so bad. Your daughter sounds like a great kid, picking up and taking over without missing a beat. Good for her!

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  2. Awww can’t wait to see the panda bracelet!

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  3. I’m so glad that your mum and friends were able to brighten your week. Also, my husband and I watch Master Chef too (but the American one), and it is SO satisfying when your favorite wins!!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Oy, panic attacks are really terrible and sometimes they just do happen. But your daughter sounds great.

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  5. It’s great that your daughter can be there for you in the midst of a panic attack, just like you can be there for her. Support and understanding from close family or friends is so important! I wish I had someone that had reassured me when I was your daughter’s age and having really terrible anxiety — I really do think, had I had the reassurances and validation, that things might not be so difficult now. Good on you for giving her what she needs.

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    • I feel the same about myself. My mum had to work to support my dad who was disabled, and I went through stuff alone a lot. I give my daughter reassurance all the time, because I know it’s what I needed.
      I also wonder how different my life would be if I had help way back when i was her age.
      Thank you for your lovely comment.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. It’s lovely to know all of us are part of a circle that’s able to give and receive support and love to each other as needed. Your daughter sounds amazing. Wishing you a wonderful weekend that eases into a wonderful week ahead.

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  7. I now want to learn how to make those bracelets. I still have a hat to finish but I have not sat down to do it. I should go work on it. Hope you feel better.

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    • They are fun to make, and the best part is, they don’t take long to do, so it’s easier to stay focused on them because the end is always not that far away.
      Thank you, hope you have a great week.

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  8. I’m sorry your week wasn’t all that great 😦 I’ve stopped watching Homeland a long time ago because it just got too weird.. Your friendship bracelets are awesome and I love the thought of a butterfly one! I wish you a better week next week ❤

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  9. I totally agree with you on the summer thing. I wonder if my medications also cause that, cuz I sometimes have the sweating thing at night too when it is cold. Sending some more virtual hugs your way and warm thoughts.

    P.S. A panda bracelet would be awesome.

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    • In the side effects list of my medication it even says about how heat stroke is more likely. Doctors are banned from giving mine to old people, I’m guessing that the fact it affects temperature control (which the brain is totally responsible for) is one of the reasons for that.
      Warm thoughts? Can I have cold ones? Hahaha. Take care lovely

      Liked by 1 person

  10. I don’t suffer from anxiety, but I did have a panic attack once. I was crazy worried (for no good reason, thanks a lot for getting me worked up internet!) that I was very ill. That panic attack was AWFUL. One of the worst experiences ever. I honestly hate that panic attacks are a part of life for some people. But how cool is it that you have such an empathetic and resourceful daughter.

    I also agree with your distaste for summer. The summers in Louisiana are hot, humid, and horrible. I hate everything about it. About the tv show, I also hate when writers are lazy and use a woman’s sexuality to solve problems. Gag.

    And yeah, your daughter’s hands are too cute.

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    • It is lazy, I liked how she was the lead actress, and she’s all independent and badass, one of the best operatives there are, but instead of being clever she just turns it on like Joey in Friends, “How you doing?” haha. It is gag worthy. Bleurgh.
      Panic attacks suck, I haven’t had one in the longest time because my meds are really good for controlling my anxiety so I have no clue why I suddenly am struggling with it. I’ll have to speak to my nurse this week.
      Take care lovely

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Panic attacks are horrible. My three sisters and my mom have all had them. I’m lucky to not have. I’m sorry you had such a bad week.

    That Minecraft pig bracelet is awesome. I know a little boy that would love one. You should sell them online. Very cute.

    I hope your upcoming week is far better than the last one. Take care!

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  12. You are not alone with panic attacks. I find food helps and will stopped it if I get it fast enough. I stopped watching day time TV as they tend to be negative and there are some authors I won’t read as they are also negative I can generate negative thoughts without becoming co cern over characters on the screen. What is your daily pain score? Mine is usually about 5, a few days it can dropped lower. Today it is near a 7 and I forced myself to get up.
    Pain Score – 1-10. One being none and ten being the highest.
    Panic attacks are not fun and I will pray for you to find an answer.

    Have pain and stress free day and put a smile on your face. 😊 🐝💞

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    • I can’t watch day time tv or the news either. Mine is usually about a 4 so long as I don’t do too much but this week it’s been as high as 8.
      You’re right about the food I find sugary stuff is the best, even though I feel really sick when I have a panic attack, if I force myself to eat something sugary it helps a lot. Thank you so much for your kind words hope your week is pain free

      Liked by 1 person

  13. So sorry you had a rough week, but I’m so proud of your daughter. She is a wonderful reflection of the kind of mom you must be. She didn’t learn to be so giving by herself.

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  14. I wish you nothing but the best. I love your comics 🙂

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