If we were having coffee, in my lovely new apartment, overlooking the river with the sun shining in through floor to ceiling windows, I’d say, it’s been a while hasn’t it?!
A lot has happened in the time I’ve been away. Two weeks ago, I got offered this apartment, and one week ago, we moved in. It’s now been 8 days since we moved in. It was all very quick, and very rushed, but I think I prefer it that way. I didn’t have months to think about it, I didn’t have months to stress, and get anxious about it, I literally had a few days. On the Tuesday, I was told the property was mine, on the Friday we got the keys, and on the Saturday, we moved in.
If we were having coffee I’d tell you how awful my old flat really was, it was constantly noisy, all times of the day and night, it was never ever quiet and I never got any peace, and relaxing was just out of the question. You can’t relax when you hear a song played on repeat for the 15th time and it’s 12.05am, and it’s so loud, you can’t even hear your TV when it’s on super loud. There was always a dog barking, it was in an area that wasn’t suitable for my daughter to be in. I couldn’t have my windows open because I’d hear abusive, bad language. I didn’t have a problem with my daughter watching swearing on TV or YouTube, because we heard it every single day in our own home. My neighbours were excessive drug and alcohol users, and abusive. It was miles away from my daughters new school, a school away from that area that I fought to get her into. It felt like a hostel.
If we were having coffee I’d tell you how this flat is a million times better than my old one. It’s quiet, it’s beautiful, I can have my windows open because the only people that go past outside are joggers and bike riders. It’s in a lovely area, it’s so much closer to my daughters school that now she only takes one bus so she’s less tired, and back to her usual self. Relaxing is easy, mindfulness is now actually achievable too (and you do really need to live in a good area for mindfulness at home to work, those people who are all, “Mindfulness is a cure” have never lived where I lived, yes I really want to pay attention to the here and now, my neighbours shouting at each other, the dog barking, and the really loud music on repeat. Not that it is a cure anyway (!), but it helps). It’s really close to all the amenities I need, which is so different from what I am used to. It’s easier to get out when I don’t feel well, because amenities are across the road from where I live. Basically, this new flat is a home, and my old one wasn’t.
If we were having coffee I’d tell you that I don’t remember ever being this happy, since the day my daughter was born. I even thought I was a bit manic because I felt so elated, until my lovely friend WeeGee said, “I think you are just happy”, and then I thought about it, and then I figured she was right, she usually is.
It still doesn’t feel like my home yet, but it feels more like my home than my old flat ever did. It feels like we are on holiday. I hear seagulls in the distant background, and it takes me back to family holidays when I was a kid, in Weymouth, England. It reminds me of the feeling I had when I was there, a feeling of loving this place, and not wanting to go back home. My daughter actually said the same thing, that she feels like she’s on holiday, but I’m pretty happy with that, holidays are good and relaxing. I’m happy she’s feeling those things.
If we were having coffee I’d tell you that I’m actually not very well. I had an awful head cold which has now made it’s way to my chest, and even though I wasn’t well, we managed to head out for lunch just down the street yesterday. I’ve been struggling today though, I’ve barely had any sleep because of the constant coughing, but I can relax in the day time, and not have to hear the dog, so napping is now available to me again. Given that I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, napping is something I really need, that I stopped being able to have about a year ago due to the constant unrelenting noise. It is going to help my health a lot being able to sleep when I need to. My mental health has declined a lot in the last year, and I’m sure that lack of naps was one of the reasons, along with the stress of having to live there. I haven’t mentioned just how bad my old flat was on here before, because I didn’t want to have to write it down, and accept that, this was my situation. I just didn’t fit there at all.
I’m hoping with my new situation, blogging is going to be more achievable. I just couldn’t do anything when the noise was so loud. The only thing I ever managed to do when it got so bad was cry, out of sheer sleep deprivation and wanting things to be different. My daughter cried a lot too, and that just broke my heart.
I think we’ll leave it there for this weekend, as it’s getting late and I have a school bag to help pack.
How are you guys? Looking forward to catching up with you all again.
Categories: Weekend Coffee Share