Last week, it was my daughters birthday. She is now 12.
It’s hard to believe she is 12 years old. I say that every year about every age she’s ever been, but it’s so true. I turned 33 though last year and my mum still says, “I can’t believe you’re 33”, so I think we have quite a few years of me being in denial about my daughters age.
My age, I don’t feel 33, and I still get asked for identification when buying anything you are required to be 18 to buy. I got asked for ID when buying an 18 rated game recently, that was quite fun. I don’t think I look 33, but I certainly look over 18 just from the chronically tired eyes I have.
Anyway I digress massively, the other day it was my daughters birthday. It was a weird birthday as normally it falls in half term so she is normally off school. This year, she was in school and I felt lost until she came home. It was the first birthday that she spent mostly apart from me, and I’m sure more are coming soon so I got all nostalgic and “My baby is growing up… awww”. Parents, you know what I mean. Finding yourself looking at baby photographs wondering where the time went and trying not to get broody because your kid is so tiny.
She had a great day, and we had an amazing rainbow cake.
My daughter was very lucky with presents, and my living room has looked like a Lego factory ever since and I couldn’t be happier.
My daughter is doing excellent in school. She recently moved up to the top set in maths and she came home really excited that day. In fact, 99% of the time I’ve picked her up from school she has been excited and happy. My favourite thing is watching her getting off the bus smiling, but then she sees me and her smile gets even happier. It melts my heart every single time.
She has new friends that are just like her, her teachers really like her and appreciate how hard she works, they are supportive, so many things.
Gone are the days where my daughter cries or has panic attacks because she doesn’t want to go, or cries when she comes out because she had such a miserable day. In her old school she was always two different daughters. Daughter 1, during the school year, withdrawn, quiet, sad, and Daughter 2 during the holidays, bouncy, excited always smiling. Now she’s just one daughter, happy, bouncy, excited dashed with a touch of teenager. Her anxiety hasn’t completely disappeared, but it’s much less often and I used to think she had social anxiety (What her old school said) but that has completely disappeared she made friends easily and talks to them after school. Lets just say, I used to be incredibly worried about her, every single day and “She’s so poorly I think she’s going to be like me”, and now I’m not at all. This new school has been such a change in her life for the better, I cant even describe how incredibly happy that has made me.
I, though, haven’t been well since I moved into our new place since September. I’ve had one illness after the other. I ended up in hospital a few weeks back. Nothing major, just pain so bad I thought it was my appendix but it turned out my digestive system just packed in and stopped functioning properly. I tried to change my diet to a slightly more healthy one and my body just shot me all kinds of NOPE for doing that. I went back to eating slightly less healthier and it’s much better now and not as much pain. I don’t really understand why fruit and vegetables and high fibre foods cause me so much agony with my digestive system. I’m being investigated. I’m also being investigated for worrying “women’s issues” and I have a scan next week. I currently also have a double ear infection and the loudest tinnitus ever. I feel like my body is falling apart and my anxiety about all these issues is making everything worse.
That’s why I haven’t been blogging, I hate talking about not feeling well physically, I have quite a bit of anxiety around talking about it and well, that’s been pretty bad anyway and I don’t want to poke the bipolar bear. However I am talking about it because I made a website the other day all about my bracelets and after making it, I really didn’t want to acknowledge it’s existence because I really wish my bracelets were here instead. So they will be here, very soon.
Hope you guys are doing well. 🙂
Lots of love
Categories: Weekend Coffee Share